Hisashiburi ni...

It's been a month....a month since I last posted here...a month of calm. Or rather, there were other things, distractors...things that were much more important than me. So much work that it's almost driving me nuts...so many issues on the job and off the job that I need to think of....so much so that I haven't had the time for myself...and that means I haven't had the time to pick on the issues I've been worrying about. But finally the assignments are over, finally I have some time freed up, and what better time to reflect on what's been happening.

First off...I seem to remember being ill most times. Well, not ill, just a bit off colour, but that's something to be expected, I guess. After all, juggling the schedules of a college student and a tutor means I need to constantly on the top of the game, so I suppose it's not surprising that it's taking a toll on my body. It isn't a good thing...must nurse my body back to health once the holidays come by. Right now, I'm still coughing...and there's an ulcer near my tonsils, so every time I swallow it hurts. ><

Mentally, I'm exhausting myself everyday just thinking about how to organise all my work so everything gets done on time. The game assignment, the research...to be honest, I've put so much of myself in it I wonder if it's a good sign. I'm kinda glad it's over, so I can slow down a little now...study for the finals at a nice pace...

There's been a lot going on in the family too. Haven't been keeping in touch with them as often as I should...miss them a lot... I just want to finish up quickly so I can go home and see the faces of my loved ones. Ah, I'm tearing up a little...looks like I've really been stretched. Just yesterday, I received news that my granddad has been hospitalised. His lungs collapsed and he's now having a really tough time breathing. I don't know what to say to that. To be honest, I've never been that close to my father's side of the family, but to be so detached...should I be ashamed?

I wonder if stress makes people want to do some crazy things... My desire for learning is coming back to me in full strength. I've already taken the placement test for Jap, but my mum insisted that I should go for it next year...so that I can come back to Ipoh for te long break in Aug. I don't know...I suppose it can be done. After all, sensei is in Ipoh. Then there's the deep thirst to try out dancing...as a form of exercise it'd be great, since I'm not fond of working out, so dance is about teh only physical activity that I might enjoy. Jazz and hip hop are the top ones in my head right now. There's also drums...and guitar. How can one person want to learn so many things? I'm surprised at myself sometimes...am I a fickle person?

Ah, on a side note, looks like the flame isn't out yet...there's yet an ember still glowing dimly at the sight of the person. But knowing that I'm not the spark the person is looking for, I'll need to extinguish it...drowned out with a barrage of other things which are more important.